#02
Endure ambiguity
From the moment a woman is told she is pregnantshe strives to become a 'mother'
You probably still vividly remember the feeling you had when your obstetrician told you that you were pregnant. You went to see the doctor with high hopes and anxieties, and when you were told that you were pregnant, your happiness spread... From that moment on, a woman is about to become a "mother".
The pregnancy is not only a time of joy and happiness, but also of hardships and difficulties, such as morning sickness and poor physical condition. In this way, she is trying her best to become a mother.
But the hard part is yet to come.
Who can guarantee me that I will have a healthy child? Any obstetrician, even a good (?) midwife like me. No one, not even a good (?) midwife like myself, much less my husband or my parents' mother, can guarantee that "you will have a healthy child! Of course, you may have received a lot of encouragement. Of course, you probably received a lot of encouragement, and they may have said things like, "Don't worry," or "It's easier to have a baby than to worry about it! But in the end, there is no such thing as a "sure thing" or "absolute" guarantee. ・・・・ How disheartening.
Fighting Anxiety and Receiving the Power to 'Endure Ambiguity'
What else is there like this in the 21st century?
Today, if you think something is inconvenient, someone else will come up with something more convenient, and it is becoming less and less difficult. It is getting easier and easier. But pregnancy is still a struggle, and you have to fight the anxiety on your own, without any guarantees from anyone. It is very, very hard. Ten months of ambiguity!
...What a long time.
As a reward, the mother is given the ability to 'Endure ambiguity'.
This "enduring ambiguity" is actually a very important part of motherhood. Fighting against anxiety and conflicts, the mother continues her pregnancy in a state of ambiguity, and by the time she reaches the last month of pregnancy, she is ready to "raise whatever child I have as my own! It is as if I am teaching myself to become a mother instead of a child. It is as if the child is teaching me how to be a mother. Mom, please raise them well! I hope you will raise your child well!
Raising Children WhileEnduring Ambiguity
This readiness is the first step in actually "becoming a mother" from the previous preparation for motherhood. In the present parenting situation after childbirth, even if you think, "I want this child to grow up (as I want) as fast as I can! the child will not grow up as the parents want it to.
When I see parents of children, especially those between the ages of 2 and 3 years old, I see parents patronizingly dreaming, "This child may be a genius," "He seems to have a special talent," or "He seems talented enough to become a professional athlete.
But, at the risk of sounding like a spoiler, such expectations are usually disappointed.
We do not know what kind of person this child will grow up to become. Perhaps the starting point of living as a parent, or even as a human being, is not to raise a child according to the parent's wishes, but to endure ambiguity in raising a child.
Midwife Yoko Nambu
After graduating from Tokyo Medical and Dental University School of Nursing and obtaining a national nursing license, and graduating from the Japanese Red Cross School of Midwifery and obtaining a national midwifery license, she worked as a midwife in the obstetrics and gynecology ward of Tokyo Medical and Dental University Hospital, attending over 300 births and picking up babies. After that, she established "Toraube Inc.", a consultation office mainly for women's body. As a woman's ally, she provides consultation for problems at all ages. She believes that women should understand their own body as their own. She believes that this will lead to the solution of all problems and deals with them on a daily basis.
Her hobbies include traveling with her husband, listening to movies and music, and playing healthy mahjong.
Blog where midwives attend to the anxieties many moms and dads have about raising their children
