Blog where midwives attend to the anxieties many moms and dads have about raising their children

Is there a difference in the way boys and girls are raised?

From birth The difference between men and women is obvious

From birthThe difference between men and women is obvious

Boys and girls, when they're babies, isn't there any difference in the way they're raised?" There are probably rather many people who think that there is no difference in the way boys and girls are raised when they are babies.
But from birth, the differences between men and women are obvious. Let us take an example of this from infancy to early childhood (before entering elementary school).

On average, boys are about 100 grams heavier than girls at birth and have a more robust skeleton. Girls, on the other hand, seem softer than boys. Boys also cry more forcefully and louder. However, there are individual differences, and it is natural that some girls have loud voices.

Have you ever heard of the Japanese phrase "Ichi Hime Nitaro"?
This does not mean that "one child should be a girl and two boys." It means, "Ideally, the first baby born should be a girl and the second baby born should be a boy." In Japan, however, when the family system flourished in the olden days, people were eager to have a boy, but they did not want to have a girl! The term "Ichi Hime Nitaro" is said to have been used as a consolation to the mother when a girl was born in spite of her longing to have a boy.
Be that as it may, there is a saying overseas as well, "Happy are those who have their first girl. It is said that girls are easier to raise worldwide.
As a midwife, I feel somewhat relieved when a baby born small and fragile is a girl. Perhaps it is because girls have more vitality. It probably means that a woman cannot protect her offspring if she does not have vitality.

Boys and Girls Features of each

Boys and GirlsFeatures of each

《 Boys 》
Boys are said to be more difficult to raise than girls. In fact, boys are statistically more likely to have vomiting and diarrhea and to suffer from asthma.
One of the characteristics of boys is that they are more interested in things than in people during the growth process, for example, they are more interested in things that move (vehicles, etc.).
They like to be physically active, so let them develop that function. If you give them enough use and movement of their arms and legs, their motor functions will develop. By getting them as much physical activity as possible during the day, they will get into the habit of sleeping well at night.
Boys, in general, tend to develop language functions more slowly and are slower to begin speaking. This means that they are slow in expressing their feelings and what they want to say in words, but it does not mean that they do not understand what those around them are saying. Since he/she is listening to you, it is a good idea for those around you to talk to him/her more often. It is a good idea to get him in the habit of speaking in his own language.

《 Girls 》
Girls tend to point and learn words and verbalize them earlier than boys. Girls are quick to take interest in their surroundings and are interested in what their mothers are doing and how they interact with others. Their mental development is also faster than that of boys. Because of this, they may be perceived as precocious, brash, and outspoken.
They like to play make-believe games and imitate their mothers' daily routines. Girls are said to be easy to raise because they listen to their mothers, are perceptive, can predict children's movements from the parent's point of view, do not behave dangerously, and try to take care of younger children if there are any.

「Not being bound by 'boyishness' or 'girlishness' What is important is 'the child's personality'

Not being bound by 'boyishness' or 'girlishness'What is important is 'the child's personality'

As we have mentioned, the fact that there are differences from birth due to gender (sexuality) is seen as universal throughout the world. This is thought to be due to the fact that only boys absorb male hormones while in utero. However, a major factor that determines "boyishness" and "girlishness" is the parents' adoption of common sense, etc., which is produced by social and cultural backgrounds, and the parents' sensitivity itself is a gender difference. For example, when choosing clothes, many parents prefer blue for boys and pink for girls, and when choosing toys, boys are given cars and girls are given dolls.

The difference between men and women is created by such words as, "You are a boy, so be firm," or "You are a girl, so be quiet. It can be said that gender differences are gradually being instilled in our children.
But is there really that much difference between men and women?
Some girls are very active and some boys are quiet. In other words, rather than a gender difference, it may actually be more of an individual difference.

As society changes, masculinity and femininity also change. In fact, women are now working in professions that were unthinkable in the past. There are train drivers, police officers, carpenters, pilots, and women driving large trucks.
It is also good for parents (including grandparents in some cases) to fully think and discuss what kind of person they want their child to grow up to be, and what kind of things this child should have.
Especially until early childhood, it is important to focus on the child's "personality" and not on "boyishness" or "girlishness," and to treat each child in a way that develops his or her individual characteristics.

Seeking feedback on
content and childcare issues

We are always looking for your concerns that you would like to see addressed in future issues of "Ask the Midwife". Please send us your opinions, impressions, and concerns about childcare using the inquiry form.

Please use the subject field for your comments and suggestions about 'I asked midwife'.

Please select your opinion or comment about "I asked midwife" in the subject field of the inquiry form, enter the content, and send it to us.

  • We may contact you to confirm the contents.
  • We cannot promise to reply to you or feature you in an article, etc. We cannot promise that we will reply to you or feature you in an article, etc.

Updated on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month

Next time... Thursday, July 25, 2024 Update

Yoko Nanbu, Midwife
The speaker is

Midwife Yoko Nambu

After graduating from Tokyo Medical and Dental University School of Nursing and obtaining a national nursing license, and graduating from the Japanese Red Cross School of Midwifery and obtaining a national midwifery license, she worked as a midwife in the obstetrics and gynecology ward of Tokyo Medical and Dental University Hospital, attending over 300 births and picking up babies. After that, she established "Toraube Inc.", a consultation office mainly for women's body. As a woman's ally, she provides consultation for problems at all ages. She believes that women should understand their own body as their own. She believes that this will lead to the solution of all problems and deals with them on a daily basis.
Her hobbies include traveling with her husband, listening to movies and music, and playing healthy mahjong.

What I want you to know from my experience
supporting many mothers as a midwife.

Check! Endure ambiguity
I asked midwife - TOP
INDEXI asked midwife

Blog where midwives attend to the anxieties many moms and dads have about raising their children

→ more