#31
〜 Things you can't tell or ask anyone 〜When can you have sex after giving birth?
Pregnancy and postpartumTo avoid a sexless marriage
Pregnancy and postpartum、It seems that there are surprisingly many couples who have become sexless.
Some people are so busy with work and child-rearing that they have no time for sex, and I'm sure there are many who can't figure out when to start again.
Needless to say, sex is an act for making children, but it's not just that. It's also a way to confirm your love for your partner, and it deepens not only your physical but also your spiritual bond.
Let's think about sex after giving birth to avoid becoming sexless.
《 So when will this be possible? 》
If you have completed your one-month checkup after giving birth, have been diagnosed as making a good recovery, and feel mentally comfortable, you can resume pregnancy.
However, the minimum conditions for resuming sex are that the lochia has completely stopped and the wounds from childbirth have healed. Having sex when these conditions are not fully healed may increase the risk of infection or illness, so do not push yourself and seek the advice of a doctor.
Even if the doctor says it's possible at the one-month checkup, the person may not be able to physically or mentally cope, and since giving birth awakens the maternal instinct in women and makes it a priority, the feelings they had towards their partner before having a child may change, and they may not accept sex even if asked. In such cases, it is important to clearly communicate your current feelings in words and make sure the other person understands without hurting their feelings.
《 If you have vaginal pain 》
You may try having sex just as you did before giving birth, but find that your vagina doesn't get sufficiently lubricated or that the wound in your perineum hurts.
These pains are caused by changes in the body after giving birth, so most will go away over time. If you push yourself too hard at this point, you may end up damaging your body, so wait for it to slowly recover.
Also, when you are breastfeeding, your hormone balance changes, so the amount of secretions that lubricate the vagina decreases and it becomes dry, which can cause friction and pain when you receive a man's penis.
It is said that moisture will return about six months after giving birth, but this varies from person to person, so if you experience pain, it may be a good idea to use a lubricant jelly.
《 Anxiety and tension due to the experience of childbirth 》
The pain of childbirth varies from person to person, but some people experience pain that they will never forget. If you experience pain that is too intense, you may feel very stressed when having sex because it reminds you of the pain of childbirth.
If you feel anxious and tense, your sexual pleasure center will not work properly and your vagina will not be moist enough. Even if your gynecological examination showed no problems, if you are experiencing a lack of moisture due to psychological issues, talk to your partner about the cause of your anxiety and your feelings, and take your time to not rush things.
《 Somehow estranged 》
Once couples have children, they no longer seek each other out and the relationship often somehow becomes sexless.
You may be suppressing your feelings, thinking that the other person is tired. Try making time for just the two of you and checking in with each other. You can also write or email. It's important to express your feelings. Also, instead of focusing on sex, you can close the gap by touching each other. Not having sex is not a bad thing, but it could be that your feelings are not aligned, so it's best to make a decision that you can both agree on.
Ovulation varies from person to personAbout the second child
《 About the second baby 》
Many people believe that they cannot get pregnant after giving birth because they do not have a period for a while.
It is generally said that ovulation resumes more than three months after giving birth, but this varies from person to person and ovulation may occur earlier than that. Ovulation always occurs before menstruation, so there are cases where a woman becomes pregnant after giving birth without menstruating. To prevent unexpected pregnancy, contraception is necessary from sex immediately after giving birth. Condoms are appropriate immediately after giving birth, but an IUD (intrauterine device) can be used after six weeks after giving birth. Also, if you are breastfeeding, you can start taking the pill six months after giving birth.
《 Secondary infertility 》
As the age at which first children are born is getting older, it is becoming more and more difficult to conceive a second child. After the age of 35, which is considered the older age for childbirth, the number of eggs and sperm decreases, so the chances of conceiving also decrease. Couples should have a thorough discussion about what they want to do about their next child.
Sex is an important act for a married couple, but it is not essential as long as the feelings and bond between the couple are properly maintained. In today's world where diverse values and ways of life are accepted, it is important to build each couple's own "form of marriage" without being misled by the idea that things should be this way.
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Midwife Yoko Nambu
After graduating from Tokyo Medical and Dental University School of Nursing and obtaining a national nursing license, and graduating from the Japanese Red Cross School of Midwifery and obtaining a national midwifery license, she worked as a midwife in the obstetrics and gynecology ward of Tokyo Medical and Dental University Hospital, attending over 300 births and picking up babies. After that, she established "Toraube Inc.", a consultation office mainly for women's body. As a woman's ally, she provides consultation for problems at all ages. She believes that women should understand their own body as their own. She believes that this will lead to the solution of all problems and deals with them on a daily basis.
Her hobbies include traveling with her husband, listening to movies and music, and playing healthy mahjong.
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