#58
Parenting Then and Now 2
ParentingThen and Now
Picking up where we left off last time, let's talk about the differences in child
rearing practices between the past and present.
1. Delivery Methods
In the past, it was widely believed that childbirth without labor pain wasn't "real" childbirth, and that pain was a necessary part of becoming a good mother. It was also claimed that babies born via C-section would grow up with a low tolerance to pain.
These days, pain-relief during childbirth (epidurals) have become increasingly common, and we now understand that all forms of childbirth, whether it be natural, via C-section, or painless, are all viable options and have no effect on a child's personality.
2. Baby Carrying
In the past, it was believed that babies would be spoiled by carrying them too much, so it was best not to pick them up immediately when they cried.
These days, it is believed that holding babies in accordance with their needs and providing close physical contact builds trust and leads to emotional stability.
3. Baby Walkers
In the past, babies who were unable to walk yet were put in baby walkers to play as soon as they could sit upright, thinking it would help them learn to walk sooner.
Nowadays, the focus is on infant development, so baby walker use has declined.
4. Allergies & Vaccinations
In the past, allergies among babies were rare, and the number of vaccinations was also low.
These days, allergies among babies are on the rise, and vaccinations begin as early as two months after birth.
5. Diapers
In the past, cloth diapers were the norm, and people would often repurpose clothing such as old yukatas into diapers.
Cloth diapers were used since disposable diapers were expensive and not as high-quality as they are today. However, cloth diapers required washing after each use, which was time-consuming.
These days, there are many disposable diapers available that have excellent breathability and absorbency, and are gentle on babies' skin, so they are used by most moms.
6. Potty Training
In the past, babies were potty trained at an early age, and it was widely believed to be the parents' responsibility to start as early as possible.
These days, parents observe their child's development and potty train gradually at their pace.
7. Sleeping Face Down
In the past, there was a time when it was believed that sleeping face down would improve head shape and help babies fall asleep faster.
Nowadays, sleeping face up is recommended whenever possible to prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
8. Clothing
In the past, it was believed that babies needed to be dressed in many layers during winter because of the cold.
These days, we try to dress them as lightly as possible and avoid overdressing.
9. Baby Carriers
In the past, babies were usually held in the cradle hold position, and baby carriers were only used when going out.
These days, there are also baby carriers made for the upright position.
Additionally, baby carriers are not only used when going out, but also in the home for things such as putting babies to sleep or consoling them when they cry.
10. Breast Milk & Formula
In the past, most people fed their babies with formula because it was believed that breastfeeding would ruin the mother's figure and that formula would make infants stronger.
These days, moms typically start off with breast milk then switch to expressed milk or formula when breast milk alone is insufficient.
11. Community Support
In the past, neighbors and acquaintances used to help out with childcare.
These days, with the rise of the nuclear family, more and more mothers are having to raise their children on their own.
12. Dealing with Challenges
In the past, everyone helped each other out, as there were many people around raising children, and you could observe many children growing up in close proximity. In addition, it was expected that siblings would help out, so parents naturally learned what to do from those around them.
These days, when I ask moms what they do when they face problems relating to childcare, they almost all say that they search online for answers.
While searching online may yield generic solutions, many moms cannot find solutions that best suit their baby's specific situation at that moment, which makes them doubt themselves. It seems that many moms find themselves in this situation.
13. Working Moms
In the past, women typically quit their jobs when they got married, then transitioned from homemaker to mother.
These days, working moms are the norm. In the workplace, there are manuals, and employees who optimize their work processes to save time are considered competent.
But raising children doesn't always work that way. Life revolves around the baby, so things cannot be optimized as moms might like, and it's a 24-hour job with no time off. The gap between expectation and reality can be so great, that
some parents can become overwhelmed or even develop postpartum depression.
Important child rearing essentialsThat remain unchanged between past and present
The important thing that remains unchanged between past and present is for moms to pay attention to their babies, hold them, talk to them, and form a strong mother-child bond. This is the core of child rearing, and it will never change.
What today's moms need is to actively involve dads and other people around to get their help, find places like support centers or daycare centers that can give advice when facing challenges, build connections with other moms who can help each other out when needed, and also involve grandparents in childcare if possible. In other words, getting the people around you to participate in child rearing alongside you.
When I see grandmothers caring for babies, they are naturally great at talking to them.
They'll say things like, "Oh dear, why are you crying? Are you hungry? Do you want to be picked up?" as if it's second nature to them.
This way of talking with babies with a smile is very important, and I encourage you to incorporate this time-honored parenting method into your own lives.
Although we tend to focus on the differences, the core essentials of child rearing haven't really changed much at all.
To the contrary, I believe that because people in the past had many children and worked hard to raise them, they truly understand the fundamentals of parenting. I urge you to draw on that wealth of wisdom as you work together to raise your children.
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Updated on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month
Next time... Thursday, April 9, 2026 Update
Enjoy!
Midwife Yoko Nambu
After graduating from Tokyo Medical and Dental University School of Nursing and obtaining a national nursing license, and graduating from the Japanese Red Cross School of Midwifery and obtaining a national midwifery license, she worked as a midwife in the obstetrics and gynecology ward of Tokyo Medical and Dental University Hospital, attending over 300 births and picking up babies. After that, she established "Toraube Inc.", a consultation office mainly for women's body. As a woman's ally, she provides consultation for problems at all ages. She believes that women should understand their own body as their own. She believes that this will lead to the solution of all problems and deals with them on a daily basis.
Her hobbies include traveling with her husband, listening to movies and music, and playing healthy mahjong.
What I want you to know from my experience
supporting many mothers as a midwife.
Blog where midwives attend to the anxieties many moms and dads have about raising their children
